Month: October 2003

  • Warm wind whips the trees
    Leaves swirling around the roots
    Happy craziness.

    10.20.03

    ###

    Someone had written that they were considering joining the military, and I replied with a response including some of the reasons I wouldn’t and general thoughts on the subject.

    Some of the reasons had to do with our foreign policy, some with what happens to soldiers that end up fighting.

    The person’s response basically stated that our messed up foreign policy and the risks of war wouldn’t stop them from supporting our soldiers.

    I agree that we need to support our soldiers.

    My anger is that our country doesn’t.

    When the VA medical questions to my friend (Marine, desert storm vet) and his wife included whether or not his semen burned her, and when 67% of children born to vets from that war had significant illnesses or birth defects but yet our congress cuts medical and death benefits and our president signs those cuts, it makes me wonder how much our country supports our soldiers.

    When I have run into far, far too many homeless who are vets of Vietnam, and more recently, Desert Storm and realize that while these people were given basic training to enable them to be among the best soldiers in the world, they were never given the post conflict care they needed to turn them back into civilians, it makes me wonder how much our country supports our soldiers.

    I will never forget when we started mobilizing troops to Iraq. I was waiting for a friend to exit the restroom at Keegan’s Pub after they’d kicked everyone out and there was a young man with a buzz cut and something on his mind who came up to me and asked me what I thought of the war.

    He pretty obviously had something on his mind, I was a bit nervous that I might be about to get in a situation for being an “unpatriotic traitor” for not supporting our president’s charge, but I’ve never one not to say what I mean and stand behind it, so I told him, albeit as politely as possible.

    At that point, he just about broke down.

    The kid was a tank commander who had just been mobilized. He had joined the military under Clinton to help him pay for college. He knew he might be called into something, but I don’t think he ever thought that he might end up being pulled into a full scale war. He hated it, he didn’t believe in it, and he was left with the choice of going AWOL or going to die or kill for something he thought was wrong. (Actually, I think he was already AWOL, but if he made base by morning, it wasn’t going to be that big of a deal.)

    It was tough to watch, tough to give advice. It was also tough to hear people blow it off later by saying “he signed on the dotted line, he knew what he was getting into, the army’s not a free ride”.

    True enough, but I think that a lot of young men and women still believe that this country has enough sanity and enough checks and balances that it provides a safety net so that they will not be misused.

    I’ve seen too much to the contrary to believe that. The hippies in the 60′s may have disgraced themselves by mistreating soldiers, but that is nothing compared to how our society as a whole has thrown them in the gutter when they come back and aren’t able to instantly reintegrate.

    Wanting to support our soldiers is not only a noble sentiment, it is a practical one.

    The biggest support they are going to need is when they come home. A lot of them are going to come home from an extended stay in a hostile environment where they have little practical way of discerning friend from foe. If they make the wrong guess at any instant – either way – something bad will happen. They’re going to be coming back, unless something changes drastically, into a rough economy where even many of those who are doing well psychologically are having trouble getting along. My prediction is that in 5 years, we’ll be seeing a whole new crop of homeless vets – a whole new generation of soldiers who served and then were let down.

    The other day, I was thinking about this and it occurred to me. Soldiers have basic training to teach them how to be soldiers. Basic training serves to train not only the body but the mind, to turn an uncertain and independent teenager into a soldier who knows exactly what to do, when to do it, and understand the importance of following orders. They are also surrounded by a support structure. They don’t have to worry about what to do – you get up when it is time to get up. You eat when it is time to eat. You train when it is time to train. You sleep when it is time to sleep. You have a huge team of people who you know have your back. You have the strongest family anyone could ever imagine.

    For those that go into non-combat positions, that will start to adjust into a more “normal” lifestyle. For those destined to go under fire, it becomes all the more intense.

    And then, for those who aren’t lifers, they’re done. Back on the street. Some basic assistance finding jobs, some ability to go to college, but that’s really it. None of the structure, none of the support.

    Some of them can easily switch back, they remember or relearn how to be a civilian and are often amazingly driven and successful people.

    Some of them can’t. It is as difficult for them to make the shift into a civilian life as it would be for Joe Average to suddenly jump into the military.

    So, how about this?

    Basic Detraining.

    Put just as much effort into developing the psychology of how to turn a soldier into a civilian as went into developing a civilian into a soldier.

    ***

    The reply to my response also suggested that if politics bothers me so much, I should get involved and change things.

    *heh*

    Well, I’m certainly not involved enough, or as much as I want to be.

    I talk, I listen, I go to meetings, I attend forums, I support the rare candidate I like by spreading their name around, capital contributions, and occasionally phone bank, I read, I research, and some day I’d very much like to run for office.

    One downside — I’m “unelectable”. While my platform may differ from theirs, like Kuchinich or Nader or Pentel I am unelectable (ok, granted, Kuchinich as accomplished incredible things) because I’m against mega-corporations and doubly against government support of them. An additional “ding” – who the hell am I? I don’t have the credibility of any of those guys. And I have long hair.

    The other thing is while I have a lot of strong beliefs, my “platform” still fluctuates all over the place as I consider different ideas and situations.

    Socialist Libertarian? Anarchist Green? Progressive? Traditional Conservative?

    I know some parts of it:

    • I want a small government whose main purposes are to
      • protect us from each other
      • to protect us from outside forces
      • to provide basic infrastructure
      • to facilitate domestic and foreign trade without undue interference.
        • I want strong environmental protections to insure that future generations inherit at least as many resources as we did.
        • I do not want corporations to have more rights than people. (Actually, I don’t want corporations to have any rights. A corporation is a legal contract between a group of people – the people have rights, the contract shouldn’t.)
        • I want to make a reasonable standard of living available to those who can and do work.
        • I want a reasonable safety net for those who can’t work and for the children of those who won’t.
        • I want our country to be a global citizen rather than a global bully heading towards dictator.
        • I want an electoral system that encourages participation and ensures that minority viewpoints still have a voice.
        • I want the government to stay out of an individuals choice’s of how they live their life – be it religion, sexuality, self-destructive lifestyle choices, etc.
        • I know that I want our legal system to be based on rehabilitation and compensation for damages

        One of the more radical ideas I have is the belief that religious law should be allowed in all extremes as long as the subjects of that law are adults who are willingly members of that religion and have the freedom to change religions. That means that if you are a fundamentalist Muslim and agree to be subject to Shahira law, or a fundamentalist Christian who agrees to be subject to the laws of Revelations, so be it, it is your choice.

        Three big areas I don’t know how to deal with are kids, those who can but don’t work, and those who become unable to work because of extremely poor choices.

        If a parent is a member of a religion that says that their daughters and sons should have their genitals mutilated, should we allow it? (as a side note, it is interesting that we are comfortable with circumcision but not comfortable with any changes to a girl’s privates). My answer is “no”, but then, how about spanking? How about schooling? How about all the various parental rights issues?

        How do we handle the situation where someone just sits around and reads or watches TV and refuses to work? Are we comfortable with them rotting on the sidewalks or do we want to provide an option? Will that option be too coercive?

        How do we handle irrecoverable drug addicts, or someone who got a sexual thrill out of having their hands amputated and now can’t work, or someone who attempted suicide and is now a paraplegic but now wishes to live.

        Once I come up with an answer to those, it has to work when considering people who get injured doing extreme sports, or motorcycling without gear, etc. Is there a line? Where? How does it work?

        Another area is how to provide basic services without creating bureaucratic monstrosities.

        Anyway, based on all that, is there a party that I fit in?

        And, since some of those are pretty radical differences, what are the baby steps?

        And how do I pay the mortgage while I’m trying to answer those questions and get elected and make all that happen?

        Anyway, enough rambling. Back to work.

  • Amber leaves reflect;
    Still images on water
    That must always move.

    10.13.03

    The leaf lingers yet –
    When the time comes, it will fall
    Regardless of will.

    10.13.03

    A full moon shines bright –
    Weeks ago, it gave no light,
    But it has not changed.

    10.13.03

    This leaf turns yellow,
    But that one is a brilliant red —
    Lazy yellow leaf.

    10.13.03

    The grey sky looks cold –
    But summer’s heat has grey skies
    As does winter’s chill.

    10.13.03

    Stray cat runs around
    Does he not know winter comes?
    What is he thinking?

    10.13.03

    Little acorn there,
    You may be an oak or lunch –
    Which would you prefer?

    10.13.03

    ###

    No time for a full post today, but those have been sitting in my notebook for too long. A couple of them are pretty bad, but some of them are passable. The post they were going to accompany was going to discuss my procrastination problem. Ironic, no?

    In the news:

    International

    * Personal prediction – Those Americans killed in Gaza is going to have a big fallout.

    * It is starting to be recognized that the war in Iraq has resulted in greater recruitment and dedication by terrorist organizations. The left will say “see, it goes completely against our goal, it is increasing terrorism”. The right will say “if we’re going to win the war against terrorism, we have to bring the terrorists out to fight.” Both are kind of right.

    The way I see it, the current plan seems to be: Tick off everyone who we can, and kill those who get angry enough to oppose us with violence which will leave only those who agree with “us” or will roll over and take it.

    Hail Ceaser. Oh wait, they eventually got wiped out. That’s the problem, no one stays rolled over forever.

    National

    * When BushII was running for office, there was a lot of concern that he was just his father’s pawn. I’m not sure what surprised people more. The fact that this doesn’t appear to be the case or the realization that it would be better if it were.

    State

    * (ok, maybe it is national) First Ventura, now Schwarzenegger. Quick, someone check the cast for Predator I to find out the next celebrity governor!

    * Speaking of Gubernatorial candidates, I ran into Ken Pentel the other day. He is currently working with The WATER Foundation and the Living Arts Center : http://www.bogfrog.com/

    Local

    * The police chief called in the FBI to investigate two officers after they were accused of a pretty brutal assault on a gang banger in a drug raid. One of them is the same guy who has been accused of beating of an 11 year old kid whose aunt happened to work in the Mayor’s office.

    * They did a cool new mural on the side of 7 bridges world market. The unveiling is at 5:00 on Saturday.,

    Other

    * Daisy Cutter may be playing a house party in just over a week. We’re not ready yet, but it will be pretty informal so what the heck.

    * Blah Blah Blah.

  • Blank sheet of paper,
    It is already perfect –
    No need for my words.

    10.07.03

    ###

    I apologize for my outburst yesterday. I was bitter and venting. Nothing substantial has changed, but I am calmer now.

    I do appreciate the on- and off-line comments.

    [paragraph removed]

    Believe it or not, the poem was useful to me. Everytime I found my anger rising back up, I just thought “tink, tink, tink, kaboom” and got a bit of a grin.

  • Tink, Tink, Tink, Kaboom,
    Service station disappears –
    Warranty that, jerk.

    10.06.03

    ###

    [paragraph full of bile removed]

    I’m sick of puns. Here’s the last of them:

    10. And finally, there was the person who posted ten different puns, with the hope that at least one of the puns would the readers laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

    …pation.

    You know the ironic part? I’d almost started cheering up. Every damn time I do, it’s something else.

    Who cares? I don’t. I wish that were true.

    You know what’s rich? There are one or two readers out there who feel a certain degree of satisfaction in this – that feel I have it coming. You’re probably right. Hope you enjoy it.

  • Damp, cool, dry, and warm –
    Strange how a fine autumn day
    Contradicts itself.

    10.04.03

    ###

    Nothing to say at the moment. Going to do some work and bake some cookies.

    I’m also holding off on the last of the 10 puns for a bit. Antici …

  • The trees are shedding,
    Branches moving in cold winds –
    They don’t seem to mind

    10.03.03

    ###

    I don’t have much to say for today.

    This afternoon, I get to paint kids’ faces. Put on a happy face…

    I won’t be barbacking this weekend. I’ll miss the money, but it will be nice not having to work. I also won’t be doing security. Strange that I kind of miss it.

    There’s a benefit at Kieran’s on Sunday for some festies whose house burned down. Lots of good music. Lots of festies. As it stands right now, I don’t think I will be going, although that may change. I’m not sure I want to deal with crowds and besides, I’m broke. Who knows, though.

    Hey, we’re almost done with the puns:

    9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him — oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good — a supercalloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

    Ok, I gotta admit, I like that one. Sorry.

  • Steps following steps,
    dried leaves lie crushed on concrete –
    A path to nowhere.

    10.02.03

    ###

    Years ago, when I felt like this, I’d search out dark coffee houses with my sketch/notebook and spend time writing and sketching. Kuperinicus was a good place for that.

    I feel like I need to do something with my life. Like I’ve been treading water for no purpose. Like my existence for the past decade has been a shallow drift through life.

    There are those who have tried to help me along the path, but I seem to lack the will or fortitude to take advantage of their help, because ultimately, someone can only show you the path, but to walk down the right ones takes both courage and effort.

    Maybe I’m just a coward, or maybe I’m just lazy, but I seem to keep taking the easier path that leads me to where I am now — nowhere.

    Maybe it is just the changing of the seasons that has put me in this mood.

    Maybe it is just that my motorcycle has been in the shop for too long and I haven’t been able to ride.

    Maybe it is that I approach another anniversary of my entrance to this world, and not only do I not have anything more to show for it, I’m in a significantly worse position than I was last year. Last year it was pointless, but I had money. This year, it is pointless and I’m broke and more or less without income.

    I’m sure I could go find another job, but what’s the point? Another year or two of treading water before it all crashes down again. Jobs just become a distraction – something I throw myself into so I ignore actually trying to improve. Something I grow frustrated with and begin to do poorly, and that frustration serves to occupy my interest. Something I lose or leave and have to figure out what to do next, and that need serves to occupy my interest.

    All the while, more time has gone by and I have in truth, done nothing. Moved some pixels, flipped some bits. Meaningless.

    I know I need to find something worthwhile to do, but all the worthwhile things either wouldn’t pay my mortgage or are already being done by people with more ability and worth. People who struggled along the hard paths while I drifted down the easy ones.

    Oh yeah. Incongruous way to finish this up, but, I was supposed to share all 10 of these monstrosities:

    8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

    I think I’d heard that one from my friend Keith first.