September 13, 2006

• Results

  Well, for the 16% of voters who cared enough to make it to the polls,
  the primaries are over. The secretary of state calculates percentage as
  the percentage of voters who were registered on election day, so the
  percentage of those who could vote that did vote is actually more like
  13%.

  Gee,
  does it surprise you that the elected officials don’t seem to be very
  good representatives of the population as a whole? The population as a
  whole doesn’t bother to vote.

  Anyway, In November, here’s what we’re looking at in Minneapolis ward 3-6.

  US Senator
  Ben Powers (Constitution)
  Amy Klobuchar (DFL)
  Michael James Cavlan (Green)
  Robert Fitzgerald (Independence)
  Mark Kennedy (Republican)

  United States Representative, District 5
  Keith Ellison (DFL)
  Jay Pond (Green)
  Tammy Lee (Indepenedence)
  Alan Fine (Republican)

  Governor/Lt. Governor
  Leslie Davis/Gregory Soderberg (American)
  Mike Hatch/Judy Dutcher (DFL)
  Ken Pentel/Danene Provencher (Green)
  Peter Hutchinson/Maureen Reed (Indepenedence)
  Tim Pawlenty/Carol Molnau (Republican) (incumbent)
  Walt Brown/Wesley Nelson (Quit Raising Taxes)

  Secretary of State
  Mark Ritchie (DFL)
  Bruce Kennedy (For Independent Voters)
  Joel Spoonheim (Independence)
  Mary Kiffmeyer (Republican) (incumbent)

  Attorney General
  Lori Swanson (DFL)
  John (Papa) Kolstad (Green)
  John James (Indepenedence)
  Jeff Johnson (Republican)

  State Auditor
  Rebecca Otto (DFL)
  Dave Berger (Green)
  Lucy Gerold (Independence)
  Patricia Anderson (Republican) (incumbent)

  Minnesota Senate District 59
  Larry Pogemiller (DFL) (incumbent)
  Rahn Workcuff (Independence)
  Sandra Burt (Republican)

  Minnesota House District 59A
  Diane Loeffler (DFL) (incumbent)
  Barry Hickethier (Republican)

  Judicial
  Court of Appeals 11
  Christopher Dietzen (incumbent)
  Dan Griffith

  4th District Court – Seat 44
  Patricia Kerr Karasov (incumbent)
  Dee Rowe

  4th District Court – Seat 48
  Kevin Kolosky
  John McShane (incumbent)

  Hennepin County Sheriff
  Juan Lopez
  Rich Stanek

  Hennepin County Commissioner District 2
  Gregory Gray
  Mark Stenglein (incumbent)

  Three Rivers Park Commissioner District 1
  Richard Theisen
  Sara Wyatt

  County Attorney – 4 year term
  Mike Freeman
  Andrew (Andy) Luger

  Soil and Water Supervisor District 2
  Dan Flo (incumbent)
  Ernest K. Lehmann
  Phil Willkie

  Soil and Water Supervisor District 4
  John Crampton
  Stephen Jenkins
  Ryan C. Wilson

  School Board – 4 seats
  Christopher Clark
  Pam Costain
  Tom Madden
  Doug Mann
  Chris Stewart
  T. Williams

  ---

  OK!

  If you’ve made it through all that, here’s a bit of sexist humor to finish it off, stolen from the 81 percenter.

  One
  day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
  Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What
  setting do I use on the washing machine?”
  “It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
  He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma.”

  –

  A
  couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the
  happiest woman in the world.” The woman replies, “I’ll miss you…”

  –

  “It’s
  just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as he stepped out of the
  shower, “honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed
  the lawn like this?”
  “Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied.

  –

  He
  said – Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said – That’s a
  good idea… you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and
  fart.

  –

  Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
  A: A rumor

  –

  A
  man and his wife, now in their 60′s, were celebrating their 40th
  wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and
  said that because they had been so good that each one of them could
  have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her
  husband.

  Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
  The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger… Whoosh…immediately he turned ninety!!!

  –

  Q: Why do little boys whine?
  A: They are practicing to be men.

  –

  Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
  A: Trustworthy.

  –

  Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
  A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

  –

  Q: What is the difference between men and women?
  A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

  • 4:09 pm
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