July 12, 2006
-
20 rules of (motor)biker wisdom
Well now, isn’t this interesting.
And, two things to revel in my hypocrisy. First, an anti-oil parody of “Addicted to Love”. Kinda cheesy, but caught me in a weird mood.
And, from my mechanical guru and the motorcycle list:
20 rules of biker wisdom:
1. A good ride is one you can walk away from. A great ride is one you can walk away from and still be able to use the bike again.
2. Every ride is optional.
3. If you push the bars left, the bike goes left. If you push the bars right, the bike goes right. That is, unless you continue pushing the bars all the way, then the bike will go down.
4. Riding a motorcycle isn’t dangerous. Crashing one is.
5. It’s always better to be on the sidelines wishing you were on the track than on the track wishing you were on the sidelines.
6. The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
7. The rear wheel is just a big fan on the back of the bike, used to keep the rider cool and his/her butt relaxed. Going into a corner too fast and slamming on the brakes causes the fan to abruptly stop. When this happens you can actually see the rider start sweating and his/her butt become tense.
8. When in doubt slow down. No one has ever hit anything too slowly.
9. Always learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make them all yourself.
10. You’ll know you’ve left the sidestand down when all left turns are bad turns and you’ll know when you’ve left the centerstand down when you’re in 4th gear at 4000 RPM and doing nowhere.
11. Never let a motorcycle take you somewhere your brain didn’t get to three seconds earlier.
12. Always try to keep the number of times you put your sidestand down equal to the number of times you put your sidestand up.
13. There are two simple rules for riding smoothly and fast in snow and on ice. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
14. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
15. If all you can see in your mirrors is sparks and all you can hear is screaming from your passenger, things may not be as they should be.
16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of metal, rubber and fiberglass going 100 + miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. (Draws don’t count.)
17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately experience usually comes from bad judgment.
18. Keep looking around, there’s always something you missed.
19. Remember gravity and centrifugal force are not just good ideas. They’re laws and are not subject to appeal.
20. The two most useless things to a rider are the braking distance behind you and nine tenths of a second ago.
Hard to say which is my favorite. There are a number of gems in there. Eleven strikes me as being especially wise.
Comments (3)
OH MY GOD that picture you sent is gruesome. I think i’d faint. The good thing is it was done on a wood floor and washable surfaces. but OH my gosh. I just don’t know how to train Ernie. I mean, I say bad dog, we point at his mistake and yell, we put him outside for an hour, he whines, comes back in, and STILL does more business on the INSIDE floors even AFTER he’s done it outside! I just don’t get it! We even reward him oODLES for going outside but he still goes on our indoor floors. IT’s like he’s just watching and waiting for the BIG poo he can do to piss mommy and daddy off. ugh goodness. How do you maintain patience through that. Ugh. Well thanks for the advice though. I’ll try to keep a course that is steady so he doesn’t get confused. How do you stop him from barking when you dont’ pay attention to him. We yell at him for that and sometimes ignore. Ignore works better. i don’t get what to do with him for that.
Love those pearls of wisdom.
Always entertaining.